The rule of the thumb is that rewards work better than punishments in establishing child discipline. Parents need to lay more stress on positive reinforcement rather than punishment for bad behavior. Many people view discipline as a punishment system but that is not necessarily so. Indeed, you can eliminate punishment altogether if you reward good behavior. Children, no matter how big they are, always seek parental approval. Punishment, on the other hand, makes them defiant, stubborn and obstinate.

First of all it is important to remove the derogatory connotations attached to the word ‘discipline’. Many people associate punishment with discipline, which isn’t and shouldn’t be the case. More often than not, a reward system works wonders in establishing child discipline. Indeed, as parents, you should make sure that things don’t come to such a pass that punishment is required. Another thing that you need to know as parents is that children are individuals in their own right. No two kids are alike; they need to be treated individually. There is no such guarantee that the method that worked with one child will work with another, too. You have to be as inventive as your children to develop a rapport with them so that they listen to you, and they do what they think will please you.

There is no short-cut as far as disciplining your child is concerned. When one method doesn’t work, you will have to try another; you can’t just throw discipline out of the window and forget about it. As parents, you must know that punishment tactics have more chances of failing; so, try a reward system. You cannot expect positive children’s behavior by meting out negative behavior to them. Children are like mirrors; they reflect you. You can’t yell and demand silence from your child, for example. And, you can’t afford to become hysterical when your child is throwing a tantrum.

Here are some parenting tips to get you started on establishing a reward system:

1. Sit down, just the parents, and communicate. Set up a list of child behavior actions and rewards. For example, cleaning up the bedroom without having to be reminded means an extra hour of TV on the weekend.

2. The next step is to sit down with your children, if they are old enough, and explain the system. Remember to engage older children in this type of routine change. It will make it run smoothly and avoid any child behavior problems. If they feel they are contributing to the household decision making process they will be more willing to cooperate. Younger children listen to older siblings more than they obey orders from parents. They are the second-rung management, you see.

3. You can make use of a chart that will help you keep a record and follow through. It serves as a visual reinforcement also.

Following these three steps will help you get started in establishing a reward-based child discipline system in your home to help make sure things get done. By rewarding good child behavior and the accomplishment of child discipline tasks, you set a positive foundation for self-esteem.

More expert advice on children’s behavioral problems is available from Dr. Noel Swanson’s website, which is all about solving Child Behavior Problems. Sign up for his FREE newsletter and 1 hour audio too.

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