At the beginning of a marriage your spouse can do no wrong. They practically walk on water and everything is perfect. The day to day issues slowly begin to creep in and it is easy to become annoyed at the little things that your spouse does. Over time these slight annoyances can mount and actually cause problems in your marriage.

You have worked hard at your marriage, to keep you and your spouse happy and well adjusted. You will not want to ruin all that you have because of an annoyance, that at one time did not bother you at all. If you follow the tips provided below, you will be able to calming manage these annoyances before they turn into a tsunami.

1. Focus On The Positive- Why do we all to often focus only on the negative things in life? If I only had more money, if only my home was bigger, why did my car have to brake down. These are common questions people ask themselves, instead of saying at: at least I have money in the bank, there are many without homes and I should be happy I have a roof over my head, the car may have broken down but once it is fixed I still have it, not everyone can say that. The same should also be applied to your marriage. No one is perfect, so we need to stop expecting our spouse to be. Instead of getting annoyed that they came home from work late, be happy they have a job and work hard to provide for you. Don’t yell when they spend money on something that you think is silly, instead be thankful that you had the money for the purchase and it has made your spouse happy. Instead of thinking and focusing on how your spouse has annoyed you think of all the ways your life has been better because they are a part of it.

2. Take A Breather- Sometimes it is difficult to think positively while you are heated mad. Instead of speaking right away, which will only come out as a nagging yell, take a breath. Remove yourself for the situation if you have to and take a few deep breaths. You will be surprised at how this will help you bring things into perspective.

3. Do Not Yell, SPEAK- If you find that you can not overlook something then you should sit and talk with your spouse. Do not talk of all the little petty issues just talk about what is causing you stress. Talking does not by any means refer screaming and yelling. You need to calmly state what the annoyance is and try to come up with a solution to the problem that both of you can live with.

4. Do Things To Build Your Relationship- Many people don’t realize the value of taking time out of the day to to bond with each other. Participate in a shared interest, go to dinner, or plan a romantic getaway. You will find that your spouse annoys you less when you feel attached to them.

5. Make Jokes- It is okay occasionally to use humor when dealing with your spouse. There is nothing wrong with making light of something that they do that annoys you, that is as long as your spouse has a sense of humor. You will most likely find that by turning it into a joke it will diffuse the issues you are having and put it in a whole new light.

It is important to remember that living with anyone day after day can be stressful, but that dealing with the humanness of each other is the key to a healthy and happy marriage.

If you are having marriage problems and believe that you will need couples therapy in order to get you on the right track again, there is another method that is just as effective, will cost you less and can be done done in the privacy of your home.

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